Tail Vs. Wings

The other day I was walking my dog Indiana or Indie for short (a Golden-Doodle) through the Second Lake trail in the woods with my girlfriend. I love this trail: you’re surrounded by large trees, wildlife, and a lake. It is an “Off-Leash HRM Trail” so Indie can frolic around all he wants without me having to worry about who he’s going to run after. This is great for me as I find being in the woods surrounded by nature an excellent time to ponder serious issues and questions and I tend to lose myself in my thoughts.

On this particular day, like most of the others on the trail, I had a serious question I was pondering… what would be better: to have a monkey’s tail or giant wings? I originally thought that a long furry functioning monkey tail would be really cool. By functioning I mean that I am able to move it around the same as monkeys do. Firstly, it would look awesome. And secondly, your balance would be so much better. I also feel this would make climbing trees that much more fun.

But then I thought about having giant wings such as Angel in X-Men. The wings in my mind are feathered. I personally would want something like that of an eagle or hawk, but plain white ones would do just as well. To be able to use these wings and fly around would be so useful. Traffic jams? Nope, I’ll just fly.  So after a long and deep internal look at both sides, I decided, why only choose one? Wouldn’t having a tail make flying easier? It could be used as a rudder of sorts.

It was at this point that I brought the topic up with my girlfriend. I thought it was a great idea of human evolution and a logical leap as all the other mammals I can think of have a tail… wings might be a little too much to expect, but one can hope. But she thought it was crazy and, more importantly, that I was weird for even thinking of it. It turns out that she doesn’t want to have a tail and that wings would be an inconvenience because her clothes wouldn’t fit anymore. She did however say that having perfect pitch like a bird would be awesome.

That’s when I realized she was the weird one, not me, as I was lead to believe up to that point.


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